Blog & Insight

Why do I have to change?

In much of my training I encourage delegates to adapt their style to that of their stakeholders.

A common response to this is to say "but why do I have to change - why can't the other person adapt their style to mine."

My response is that you don't have to change anything if what you're doing is working.

I'll say that again.

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING DIFFERENT IF WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS WORKING.

The clue is "if it's working".

If you have no need to influence the other person ie for them to change, and are happy with the current state of play then don't do anything differently.

Simple.

If you're not getting the response you want you can either keep doing what you're doing and most likely get the same response, or adapt your style and see if it opens the door to effective communication with that individual.

As a result of me learning and applying all these influencing tools my stakeholder said I was easier to deal with.

The funny thing was I thought she was easier to deal with.

Once I stopped saying things in a certain tonality, and used words that made sense to her not me, and made her feel heard and appreciated our relationship blossomed :-).

Of course you don't have to stop being you - to successfully influence others however it is useful to be able to flex your style to suit the environment.

If you'd like your team to be more flexible in their engagement with stakeholders or suppliers do get in touch and let's explore what mix of 5 or 28 day challenges, webinars, group coaching clinics and 1:1 coaching would meet your needs. [email protected] +44(0)7770 538159

Additionally you can sign up for my newsletter here or follow my Landscaping Your Life podcast on AppleSpotify or other podcast apps. They both provide hints, tips, tools and ideas for how to see situations from a different perspective to open up options and opportunities available to you.


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© Alison Smith
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