If you’re struggling with overwhelm, have tried more traditional problem-solving techniques, have even thrown logical thinking at it and still come up blank and are open to trying something a little different then do read on - you may be surprised with what ideas emerge after reading this post?

It's Brew Monday today – which is the Samaritans counter movement to blue Monday – which had me wondering about using the metaphor of a cup of tea to help you find alternate perspectives to the overwhelm that many of us might be feeling at this time of year.

That is, what would happen if you likened overwhelm to a cup of tea – ie what solutions might emerge.

I’m Alison Smith and for 25 years I’ve used nature and metaphor as a means of helping you move from not knowing to knowing what to do. Which means when you can’t see the wood for the trees, are stuck in a rut, or are up a creek without a paddle the woods, rut, and creeks have much to share to help you get back on track, and is why I wrote Can’t see the wood for the trees – landscaping your life to get back on track.

As ever with my solutions based posts this is going to make much more sense if you think about a situation you’re grappling with before reading further – ie have something you can apply the following metaphor and its patterns to. Don’t worry I will be starting by giving you some examples to give you a sense of the possible.

If your problem was a cup of tea what solutions would there be

Demonstration of using the metaphor to get insight about your situation

Just to give you a sense of what I’m suggesting here’s two quick examples: one is a general problem and the other is an unresourceful feeling:

For example, if my problem is getting more attention on my Landscaping Your Life YouTube channel then insight I might get from it being like a cup of tea would be:

• Not everyone likes tea so I may need to add in herbal options or even coffee ie switch my content about a little
• Tea tastes disgusting if stewed for too long so how do I ensure I’m hitting the right length of video or perhaps it’s about providing something new
• Herbal teas are an acquired taste and yet over time people can really grow to like them – ie so we often start with fruit teas and work up to greener one – so perhaps I shouldn’t jump straight in with my wackiest ideas first

If my challenge is a feeling, such as the January blues, how do I learn from Brew Monday and apply it to Blue Monday?

• Noticing the language I am using and choosing to use resourceful words that support what I want not unhelpful ones that remind me what I don’t want
• Having time out for a cuppa and some me time
• Having a chat with someone else – remembering it doesn’t have to be about the situation I could chat about a favourite TV programme, film, book, holiday or memory (In Headtorch mental health training we ask about tremendous times by way of shifting how we’re feeling).

With these examples in mind here’s a few pointers about using metaphor.

Basic principles when using metaphor

See below for my starter for ten of patterns associated with cups of tea and tea making that you can apply to your situation.

After using metaphor to solve problems for 25 years I’ve discovered that the patterns seen in a metaphor are always in the eye of the beholder, and you may already therefore be ahead of me and have thought of something about a cup of tea or tea making that helps provides insight to a problem you’re struggling with.

Please note: it’s often better to stick with the metaphor for as long as possible and only relate it to the situation at the end – so have a read of these patterns – add to them – go off at tangents - and then once you’ve done that have a think about what insight has come to your mind about your situation (laughter is often a great sign that you’re on to something).

If you’re still not sure about using metaphor here’s a video about why metaphor can be more helpful than logic at solving problems.

Some suggestions of patterns of tea making you could apply to the overwhelm or problem you’re grappling with

• There’s loads of alternatives to tea – coffee, hot chocolate (my favourite), hot or cold water, cold drinks and the like
• There’s lots of options or alternatives to cups – not least a mug, glass or tumbler

Unless these first two suggestions resonate there’s an assumption that your current cuppa isn’t to your liking and something in the following will provide insight about changes you could make in order to make it the perfect cuppa!

• There’s a plethora of different teas – traditional or herbal – from all over the world - with some requiring acclimatisation to over time
• You may not have a tea plantation in your back garden but herbal teas just need you to take a cutting from a plant and immersing it in water
• Some people prefer adding milk, sugar, honey, ginger, slice of lemon etc to make it palatable for them
• Which reminds me about the age-old question whether you put the milk or tea in the cup first!!
• Some teas taste better not having boiled water poured on them – others absolutely need the water that hot
• There’s an optimal steep time for each type of tea – ie not all teas are the same – and it’s also down to personal preference
• Weak or strong tea is a combination of tea, steep time and amount of milk added
• Even the options of shape of teabags seems to be increasing with every passing month
• Traditional loose leaf tea is better when you use a tea pot (or is it?)

I won’t, but could go off at a tangent about finding a tea pot that doesn’t dribble and the best types of tea pot! And about the different types of tea strainer (and their relative effectiveness).

• “One for the pot” is a great saying about adding a tea bag for the pot on top of 1 tea bag per person
• Adding cold water to the cup may allow people to start drinking sooner (I know that’s a must for me otherwise I have to wait 10 minutes before I can start drinking)
• Who are you drinking your cuppa with – alone with a book or with a gaggle of friends
• And so on

What other patterns have come to mind for you?

And how can your noticing be applied as insight to the original situation you wanted a different perspective about?

My personal insight from these patterns applied to my own overwhelm

And in case it helps here's three insights I took away that I can apply to a situation I'm feeling overwhelmed about:

• It feels like I'm stewing my tea - which reminds me to not over think what I'm doing for days and days and just getting on with doing something - as Michael Neill has said on this year's Creating the Impossible programme - it's about the subtle art of trying sh*t!
• Adding cold water might help stop the tea scolding me - which reminds me to do things that support my wellbeing to calm down and absorb the adrenaline and anxiety - such as cold water swimming
• And as I thought about using loose leaf rather than using tea bags my whole body relaxed and whilst I can't tell you why the overwhelm has reduced it just has (such a great example that sometimes we don't need to logically make sense of the metaphor our body and creative side just does what it needs to do to shift our thinking/feeling)

Post Script: Sorry one more, I’ve just realised, or perhaps it’s about having a sort out of my tea cupboard and removing any that are well past their use by date which metaphorically translates as having a clear out of my to-do list and what's overwhelming me as I suspect there's actions on the list past their sell by date that no longer need actioning for one reason or another!!

This post is a cousin to an earlier post "if your problem was a mountain" and may become a series of posts if I get feedback that they're helpful. Whilst coming from a different angle this post with insight from sunrise may also shed light (no pun intended) on the challenge you're facing. And later in the week will be sharing a post using Winter as the metaphor for overwhelm for BBC's Winterwatch.

If your overwhelm has you feeling more like a fish out of water this pdf shared on LinkedIn provides surprising insight about what to do.

I’d love to know how you get on - do let me know alison@alisonsmith.co (yes just .co).